Uncomfortableness and Embracing the Truth

After only one week, I was put in my place and as Pema Chodron describes it, life nailed me. I felt uncomfortable, unwanted, lost, uncertain; in short I felt nothing but groundlessness. I expected this, but of course during the moment it was overwhelming and seemingly impossible. The heat, the humidity and the mosquitos got the best of me and revealed a truth that I was hesitant to face. I immediately made up excuses and tried to resist the uncomfortable feelings.

“The way to dissolve our resistance to life is to meet it face to face. When we feel resentment because the room is too hot, we could meet the heat and feel its fieriness and its heaviness. When we feel resentment because the room is too cold, we could meet the cold and feel its iciness and its bite....There is no cure for hot and cold. They will go on forever.”

I know the end of this quote seems incredibly obvious, but there is so much truth in just realizing that we really cannot change what is around us, though we can certainly change our reaction to what is around us. We can move around, run away, cover it up, or even ignore it, but the truth is always there, waiting for you to accept it.

For the first time in my life, I am learning to just be still with whatever comes my way. I always said before that, although happy, I was never satisfied, and I always needed to be busy. Now I am starting to rethink things. I mean, there is some good that goes along with never being satisfied; I always want to challenge myself and test my potentials. Now that I am here, in this moment, I need to be still. Yes, I should challenge myself, always, but I need to find a balance. It's all about balance, huh? Like Pema says, “Well, it starts with being willing to feel what we are going through.”