3 years later: This was the beginning of life-altering journey
When I first got this tattoo, I did not fully understand the meaning behind it. It wasn't spur of the moment, but I definitely needed to learn a lot more about it. The reason why I decided to permanently alter my body and my identity - I was attracted to it for reasons that I could not explain. I had researched for months different mantras and different symbols, but I kept going back to this one. I woke up one day and I knew that I had to get this tattooed on me. I went by myself to Berkeley and had a beautiful experience - I had a rush of adrenaline for the rest of the day. (I actually biked to the top of the Berkeley hills...something my knees would normally prevent me from doing!) I had changed my body forever and I had opened up a new chapter in my life. It has been almost 3 years since I got it, and I have grown to understand it with a different mindset. Now, I truly understand WHY I chose to get this mantra. I was attracted to it for a reason - because I am now on a beautiful journey to becoming more compassionate. Tonight I had an epiphany - I am starting to be able to put my thoughts and words into action, truly. I am starting to speak my truth. I have been on this journey for almost 3 years and just now am starting to really put things into place. I have SO much to learn, but I have come a long way. I am starting to feel more compassion for others, but also for myself. This is something that I was not able to do much of before, always beating myself up mentally about how bad I am at something, or how something is my fault. Now, I am able to step back and realize that I am human, and I need to feel compassion for myself. People will try to make me feel bad, they may say it is my fault or my problem, but I know deep down that the people that say those things just haven't learned what I have yet. And when they do, their hearts will open up to me even more. I am grateful for what I have learned, and I am grateful to be giving the experiences to put my words and thoughts into practice. Because uncomfortable moments are true tests.
"Impermanence becomes vivid in the present moment; so do compassion and wonder and courage. And so does fear. In fact, anyone who stands on the edge of the unknown, fully in the present without reference point, experiences groundlessness. That's when our understanding goes deeper, when we find that the present moment is a pretty vulnerable place and that this can be completely unnerving and completely tender at the same time." P. Chodron
No comments:
Post a Comment